I’m the kind of person who thrives on challenges. Give me a system to improve, a problem to solve, or a status quo to question, and I’m in my element. So when I landed a leadership role tasked with transforming how a large, change-resistant organization did business, it felt like winning the lottery.
About 10 months into the job, I had to learn the hard way that you can be successful and burned out at the same time.
The work itself was intoxicating. Every day brought new opportunities to challenge assumptions, improve processes, and drive better outcomes. I was hooked.
My days stretched longer and longer. Most nights, the sun would set before I started my drive home. And somewhere in the dark anonymity of that commute, I would begin to cry.
This became my routine: arrive before almost everyone else, chase goals relentlessly with a smile on my face, then cry in the car on the way home. I’d wipe my tears and put on another smile before walking into the house for a little family time before bed.
Then I’d wake up and do it all over again.
The warning sign
The morning I had to turn off the security alarm in our office building was the moment I reached full burnout, though I didn’t see it that way at the time.
I couldn’t sleep that night. My mind was racing with everything I needed to accomplish and wrestling with the persistent feeling that I was running out of time. So, I did what seemed logical: I left the house as quietly as possible and headed to work, hoping to “steal” even more hours from the day.
When I entered the building at 4:30 AM, the security alarm started beeping. The maintenance crew normally disarmed it around 5:30, so I had never learned how to do it myself.
I stood there, alone and overwhelmed – literally and metaphorically – with an actual alarm going off around me.
Of course, I didn’t think of it as burnout in that moment. I was drive. It was dedication.
All that mattered was pushing through barriers and achieving goals. And since I kept experiencing success, I kept pushing forward, often at the expense of my marriage and my physical and mental health.
The paradox of important work
Here’s the worst part, and it is how most of us get drawn in to a state of burnout: the work itself was important. It was meaningful and positive. It was making a real difference.
But I had lost sight of that.
I was doing meaningful work, but it wasn’t meaningful to me anymore.
I was lost in my work, but I wasn’t getting lost in my work. I wasn’t finding any joy or peace in it.
I was working with great people, but I wasn’t building meaningful relationships. And the relationships I did have – with colleagues, friends, and family – got pushed to the back seat so I could focus on the next destination.
The destination became more important than the journey. More important than me or anyone else.
That moment, standing alone in front of an alarm I couldn’t turn off, was when I started to realize that success without wellbeing isn’t success at all.
The foundations of wellbeing
That is when I admitted I needed support for my mental health, and when I learned about the PERMAH model of wellbeing:
- Positive emotions
- Engagement
- Relationships
- Meaning
- Achievement, and
- Health
Sustainable success requires all of these elements working together, not just the relentless pursuit of achievement.
The Business Case for Wellbeing
If you’re reading this and thinking “I don’t have time for wellbeing—I need to focus on results,” I understand. I thought the same thing. But here’s what the research shows:
- Companies with highly engaged employees are 23% more profitable and see 18% higher productivity (Gallup, 2020)
- Organizations with comprehensive wellbeing programs report 28% reduction in sick days and 26% reduction in healthcare costs (Harvard Business Review, 2019)
- Employees who practice wellbeing strategies show 31% higher productivity, 37% better sales performance, and 3x more creativity in problem-solving (Achor, 2010)
- Teams that prioritize psychological safety and wellbeing are 76% more likely to engage in innovative behaviors (Google’s Project Aristotle)
The evidence is clear: wellbeing isn’t a luxury, it’s a competitive advantage.
Check yourself before… (well, you know)
Sometimes we’re so focused on pushing through that we miss the warning signs. Here are some signals that your metaphorical alarm might be sounding:
Physical signs:
- Chronic fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest
- Frequent headaches or muscle tension
- Changes in sleep patterns or appetite
- Getting sick more often than usual
Emotional signs:
- Feeling emotionally drained or depleted
- Increased irritability with colleagues or family
- Feeling cynical about work or losing enthusiasm for things you used to enjoy
- Sense of dread about going to work
Behavioral signs:
- Working longer hours but feeling less productive
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Isolating yourself from colleagues or loved ones
- Increased reliance on caffeine, alcohol, or other substances to cope
Mental signs:
- Persistent thoughts about work during off-hours
- Feeling like nothing you do is good enough
- Inability to enjoy achievements or celebrate wins
- Sense that you’re running out of time or falling behind
If you recognize some of these signs in yourself, your alarm might be going off.
But this is the good news: if you can see it, you can do something about it.
Three Small Steps You Can Take Today
Burnout recovery doesn’t require a complete life overhaul. Sometimes the smallest shifts can create the biggest breakthroughs. If you’re feeling the weight of burnout, try one of these today:
- Take a real lunch breakStep away from your desk. Eat without checking emails. Even 15 minutes of actual disconnection can reset your nervous system and improve afternoon focus.
- Set one boundaryPick one small boundary and enforce it today. Don’t check emails after 8 PM. Don’t take calls during family dinner. Say no to one non-essential meeting. Start with something manageable.
- Acknowledge one thing that went wellBefore you mentally catalog everything left undone, identify one thing you accomplished or handled well today. Text it to a friend, write it down, or just say it out loud. Our brains are wired to focus on problems—we have to intentionally notice what’s working.
These aren’t cure-alls, but they’re first steps. They remind your system that you have some control, even when everything feels overwhelming.
Because the goal isn’t just to turn off the alarm.
The goal is to create a life where the alarm doesn’t need to go off in the first place.
If you want to work with a coach who can help you maintain your drive and improve your sense of wellbeing, Schedule a call with me today!
